A Cardiac ICU Moment

Layne is fond of telling people that I can't even watch him take a insulin shot without a squeamish face.  I admit that I have to take a deep breath and look the other way when I am taking a shot or a blood test.  Okay ... that's why I am a lawyer and not a doctor!

Well, going inside the Cardiac ICU tonight is a test of being present and in the moment.

First, the surgeon dropped by and said that the surgery went very well and that he did what he wanted to and Layne was looking good.  That's very encouraging and great news.

Second, I have never seen so many tubes going in and out of a person.  He is starting to wake up and now the frustration, he still has the breathing tubes in him and that cannot be a pleasant feeling.  Also he can't talk.  Given Layne's normal challenges with breathing --- asthma & sleep apnea --- they are fully aware of the challenge, he also has to learn how to take slow deep breaths.  Patience. Breath. Patience. Breath.

So, and here's the good part, the nurse said "I am going to release his right hand from the bond but will you stand on that side and make sure he doesn't autonomically try to pull out one of the multitude of tubes."  Well, I did it for almost an hour n half  ... thanks for meditation practice, because it took all of that not to cry or pass out and stay present in the moment.   Breath .... Breath and oh by the way,  Layne, take some slow deep breaths to stop whatever monitors goes off when the number exceeds 52 or 53.  He listened with an expression that clearly shouted, "when I get out of this .. if I remember .. you'll hear from me."

Well, there is a shift change going on right now and I was asked to leave .. so without pictures .. I thought I would share this up close & personal Kodak moment.

Thanks for listening .. will have more later.

--- steve