MR KULWIN... SHOW ME YOUR GROIN!

That's what he said.  My doctor. 

I saw him on Tuesday (forgot to enter my Blog comment) for a follow up to the angiogram.  I had my short list of questions and ribald attempts at humor...

Q - LK:  Dr... will I be able to play the piano after my surgery?

A - DR:  Yes, of course.  You should be able to play just fine.

R - LK:  Oh, good.  I don't know how to play the piano yet, but I've always wanted to!

(Tell me you didn't see that coming....)

He shared with me a two page list of items (do-s and don'ts) for after the surgery.  I was taken back by the restriction of no sexual activity for the first month after surgery.  I asked him:

Q - LK:  Dr... no sex for at least a month after surgery?

A - DR:  Well, yes.  But, you probably won't feel much like it anyway.

R - LK:  My God - what will I do with my hands?

R - DR:  Why not play the piano!

(I tell you.... I didn't see that coming!).

But, the crème de la crème creme, the pièce de résistance was when he said to me, "Mr. Kulwin, show me your groin."  I nearly fell off my chair.  For some bizarre reason, at that moment I had a reflection of (then) President Ronald Reagan telling Mikhail Gorbachev... "Mr Gorbachev - tear down this wall!"

WOW - so, anyway.  I did as requested so he could check the incision point in the femoral artery to ensure that it had healed correctly... which it did.  

But, gosh - I had some many one-liners floating in my head that I just knew would not be as funny once uttered as they were in my warped brain.  Besides, this guy is the kingpin to the Vicodin that I'll be screaming for after the surgery!  And, as they say... never bite the hand that feeds you... or for that matter the one that gives you good drugs!

Tomorrow is pre-op day.  I'll be spending five to six hours at the Kaiser Medical Center having my blood drawn for the myriad tests that they'll perform on it, my chest x-ray done, EKG and a host of other procedures in preparation for the grand event on Wednesday (April 30). 

I'll also be meeting the anesthesiologist.  Let's be honest... he may be as important as the surgeon.  I mean, he keeps you in dreamland while they're fixing the plumbing.  You surely wouldn't want to wake up early - would you?  And, on the other hand... you want to ensure that you do wake up at some point... yes?

Anyway - more to share after tomorrow...  Thanks for reading!

Layne